In our society we have been conditioned to believe that we must live for others, to make others the center of our lives. Whether it be our children, our spouse or partner, our career, our ministry works etc., for many people, our value comes from dedicating our life to serving other people. Parents build their lives around their children and “live for them.” Some people build their lives around their career and everything they do is to further their career or business. Some wake up in the morning and immediately begin to think about what they can do to make their business or career better; how they can make their company better or make their clients or employer happy. We dedicate our days to providing for our children, driving them to where they need to be, building them up emotionally, making sure they have everything they need or everything we didn’t have when we were their ages. We live to be in service to our churches, houses of worship, pastors, fellow parishioners and members of our communities.
But what happens when the things we are living for are no longer there? What happens when we separate from our company? What happens when your children leave home? As unfortunate as it may be the possibility that a child may die before a parent is a real one. When the things we are living for are no longer there who will we live for then?
It is our nature to want to do our best and to have others think highly of us and to be pleased with us and the work that we do. We want to make others happy. But we must live for ourselves. This is not to say that we must neglect others in our lives, but it is to say that we must be our own center of our life. When we make ourselves the center of our lives and do things for us that make us happy, others will feel the effects of this. It is okay to think of yourself and what you want when making decisions. It is okay to consider how decisions that others are asking us to make will affect us. We don’t have to wear ourselves down to do something that others are asking us to do if it will affect us in a negative way; if it will cause you stress, disturb your peace or cause a burden for you it is okay to say no.
As we head into a new year, I encourage you to look at your life and ask yourself who are you living for. If the answer is not yourself then I hope that for the new year your goal will be to make yourself the center of your life.
In luv and dessert,