Life gives each of us our very own journey with paths that others may not take and may criticize you for taking. Don’t concern yourself with what others think of you and the paths that you choose to take on your journey. It’s YOUR journey divinely crafted for you! Embrace your journey with an open mind knowing that you are evolving and growing at precisely the rate that is meant for you!
~ Leisa Monique
So often we are consumed with our own wants, desires and needs ( or what we think we want, desire and need), that we have lost compassion for others. We cannot seem to see outside of ourselves and what we think is “right” or the right thing to do and often criticize others who do not perform the way that we would or act in the same way or handle a particular situation the way that we think is the best way to handle it. It seems that we have become a nation of people that are so consumed with our own wants and desires that we completely disregard how others may think or feel even socially criminalizing them for being who they are.
I understand and encourage a healthy relationship with and luv of ourselves. I teach it, coach people on it and write about luving ourselves and honoring our own needs and desires. But what I’m talking about here is disregarding or dishonoring what others have to offer or where they are in their lives at this moment in time. It seems that we have become so consumed with ourselves that we have lost (or perhaps never learned) the ability to get outside of ourselves and see and feel for others and accept them for who they are and where they are on their journey of life. Understand that not everyone is where you are in life! Not everyone has experienced what you have experienced and not everyone sees the world the way you see it. Everyone is on their own life path not on yours.
We seem to have a problem with the way others handle situations that come up in daily life. What I mean is we seem to expect that others will behave the way that we would behave or handle a particular situation the way we would handle it and when they don’t it’s a problem…for us!
What is it that has made us the way we are? Is it past traumatic experiences that have led us to create a “safe zone” for ourselves and an expectation that others should operate within that zone for us to be comfortable? Wait! What was that? Yes, I said that often we create a “safe zone” for ourselves that is usually triggered by past traumas that we have experienced and because we are so consumed with ourselves and our own feelings, we automatically expect that others will operate within that zone and it’s all so that WE don’t feel uncomfortable or feel disappointment or pain. Venturing outside of the safe zone creates stress and major discomfort for most of us and when others’ behavior is outside of OUR safe zone expectations it creates stress for us often triggering past experiences that we have yet to work through.
What we have to understand is that each of us offers the world what we have at that moment in life. What we have to offer is usually based on what we have learned and experienced up to that point. We also have to understand that each of us is evolving and growing at every moment in life whether we know it or not. With each experience we learn something new about ourselves or a new way to handle what life offers us. Hurting someone may cause you to evaluate the way you treat people. Making a mistake may cause you to evaluate the decisions you have made that led up to the “mistake.” Mishandling a situation, whatever it may be, may cause you to evaluate the way you see life and how you make decisions.
Experiences have a way of making you look at yourself (hopefully and eventually) and how you see the world and the people around you. The key is not only allowing yourself to be where you are but allowing others to be where they are and understand that what they are offering to the world is what they have…at that moment. Wanting anything different from someone than what they are offering at that moment is often what leads to sadness and pain and even anger.
Accept where others are in life and accept what they have to offer. If what others are offering is not acceptable or enough for you perhaps it’s time to look at yourself and ask the question “why?” It may very well be that you are a bit more evolved in your thinking or it may be that you are just in a different place and have different needs. That’s OK as long as you not only honor yourself but honor others as well. Don’t get so consumed in you own wants and desires that you lose compassion for someone else in the process. if you need to move on from that person then do so but make sure you are doing so in luv and not out of anger because they are not living up to your expectations. Honoring our own healthy needs and desires is fine and encouraged but make sure that they come from a healthy place and not a place of anger, hurt and pain. Accept what others have to offer you as their gift and allow it be enough. #EMDF
Words to live by
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde
“The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white. Neither need you do anything but be yourself.”
― Lao Tzu
“Do your own thing on your own terms and get what you came here for”
― Oliver James
“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.”
― Martha Graham
If you’ve followed my writing for any period of time you know that my core principle that I share with you most is to know and be who you are. It’s been said that the experiences of life are what make us who we are and I couldn’t disagree more. We come to this earth already who we are and the experiences of life only reveal not create who we are. Some might argue that the two are the same and I disagree again. My point is that you are already everything you ever will be and that’s important.
The changing seasons and weather conditions don’t create or “make” the trees what they are they only reveal what they already are over time. The seed of a tree has every aspect of the tree within the seed and it’s time, conditions and challenges that reveal that tree. Nothing had to make it into a tree and nothing can ever make you who you are, you can only be revealed as you go through life and experience the challenges and joys that come with that life.
As children we are not always taught that it’s OK to be who and what we are. As we go through life we are constantly bombarded with messages that tell us we need to change, to be better and different than what we already are. Rarely are we even taught to learn and understand who we are and to appreciate it. We are just simply told that whatever it is that we are is not good enough and that we need to be better.
But you are already perfect in all of your glory just as you are. Of course that’s not to say that our behavior and some of our habits are perfect. There will always be areas of our lives that we need to develop or habits and behaviors that we need to address and evolve in but the core of you, your essence, the part of you that makes you who you are is perfect.
So understand that there is nothing that you could ever be that is better than what you already are. Take who you are at the core and allow that part of you to guide you in your daily life. Allow that part of you to shape your character and your practices. If there are behaviors that you engage in that you think you need to work on then do so but don’t ever change who you are at your core to be what others think you should be. Accept and embrace you because you are the best there is and ever will be!!