Same S@#& Different Year?

Depending on your perspective (and what I’ve seen on social media) 2016 was a challenging year for many folks. From the deaths of loved ones to career changes to the elections, many people were just ready for 2016 to be over. Personally, 2016 was a glorious year for me. I too experienced the deaths of loved ones including my youngest brother Rocky but for me, 2016 was one of the best years I have experienced for many reasons.

What made the year so glorious for me is my perspective on life. For one, I refrain from labeling anything “good” or “bad”, “right” or “wrong”, “better” or “best.” For me, these labels introduce judgment, judgment of our circumstances of life and judgment of the space that we are currently in. If you have followed my writing for any length of time you know that my perspective on life is that we are always right where we are supposed to be and that whatever is happening in our lives at any moment is exactly what is needed for our growth and our evolution into the person that we were created to be.

We tend to look at the events of our lives and try to categorize them or explain them instead of just allowing them to be and looking for opportunity in them. We compare our lives to the lives of others and how we think our lives should look instead of how they actually do look. This is the point where judgment and emotion comes in. We ask the question “Why me?” and “What did I do to deserve this?” We take things personally.

Whether you consider 2016 to have been a challenging year for you or whether you consider it to have been a great year, understand that 2017 will bring many of the same experiences with it because that’s how life works. People are going to die, careers will change, relationships will begin or end, and pain may be experienced, but so will joy.  It will be up to you to decide how you view these experiences. Will you view them through a lens of challenge, or will you view them as an opportunity to grow into your best self? Perspective is everything and it will determine whether your 2017 is much like your 2016 or if it will truly be the best year of your life.

We are imbued with the power to create the life that we want. What’s important to understand is that in this process of creating, any beliefs, fears, practices, or patterns that we hold onto that will hinder with our creation will be challenged. For example, if your desire for the new year is to save money, then whatever belief or practice that you have had in the past that has prevented you from saving money is going to come up in order for you to work through it to get to the place where you can save money. If you desire a romantic relationship but have experienced nothing but heartbreak in the past, then whatever beliefs or relationship habits that you have that have contributed to your heartbreak are going to come up so that you can work through them. Understand that it is for your good and comes up to help you get to the place where you can attract a partner that you can be happy with and sustain a relationship with. It is not here to hurt you.

When these things come up embrace them and know that you are right where you are supposed to be and that what is here for you in any particular moment is just what you need in order to get to the place you want to be.

2017 CAN be the best year of your life but it will be up to you to take the necessary steps to make it so. Making plans, setting goals, creating vision boards, journaling, and the like are all great ways to help create what you want for the new year, but they are only a part of  the plan. Understand that you will experience emotions, doubts, fears and many of the same things that you did in 2016. Also understand that it’s OK. Putting a system in place to help you through these times is one of the best things you can do to help make 2017 your best year.

I recommend a solid spiritual practice as part of the system you create for yourself to help you make this your best year. Whether that system includes meditation, prayer, writing, music, dancing, working out, baths, making luv, or sitting still (daily desserts is what I call them), work to put something in place to help you manage the challenges of the upcoming year because they will come! Remember our motto here at EMDF: “Live and enjoy life FIRST because the problems of life will always be there!”

Whatever you decide to put in place make sure it includes starting your day off with a daily dessert to help you get in a positive mindset to get you through the day. This is part of my personal practice and I can assure you it helps tremendously when life happens! Just remember that everyday is what you make it so while working to make this your best year ever, make ever day of this year your best day!

In luv and dessert,

Leisa Monique

Have We Forgotten?

Have we forgotten? That was the question I was asked this morning in a written piece sent to me by my luv as he quoted the Pledge of Allegiance: “I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.” He reminded me (again) that today is the anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy; it was 15 years ago today that terrorist planes flew into the World Trade Center and changed this country forever.

In his piece my luv, who is a 21 year Air Force veteran, spoke about how, for a moment, we all put aside our differences and lived up to the words of indivisibility in the pledge and came together as Americans. For a moment there was no divide along racial, gender, class, religious or political lines. For a moment we were one. One people feeling vulnerable and exposed. One people mourning the loss of lives and possibly the security we may have felt living in the United States of America. One people clinging to each other for comfort, peace and hope.

But what has happened to us? What happened to that moment of unity we shared when our country was rocked 15 years ago by the tragedy of 9/11? Was it, in fact, just a moment?

My luv mentioned in his piece that it seems we are more divided today than ever before. I agree. Whether it be race, political affiliation, religion, or just a difference of opinion on how we should protest or whose lives matter, we are divided and not always willing to see others’ side. Will we ever do better by each other?

Ironically, today is also the one month anniversary of the passing of my youngest brother Rocky who died from colon cancer. Roc was 4 months shy of celebrating his 40th birthday when he passed and only 37 when he was diagnosed; Too young, some would say, to be stricken with such a horrible disease as colon cancer. Roc was a cool dude and had friends of all nationalities. It was not uncommon to walk into the house and see white people, Latino people, Asian people and others who were friends of Rocky’s when we were growing up. He brought everybody home with him! He lived his life that way until the day he died. He luv’d people and they luv’d him.

In his song “Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning“, Alan Jackson reflects on what many of us must have been feeling 15 years ago as we helplessly watched the events of 9/11 unfold. He also reminds us of Faith, Hope and Luv and that the greatest of these is luv. One month ago today, as it did 15 years ago, my world stopped turning when Rocky transitioned from this earthly realm into the realm of Spirit.

There was a time nearly 20 years ago when Rocky and I had a fight and our relationship was strained. With him passing and being physically gone, thinking on that time is painful but I find solace in the fact that that was a short lived time in our lives and that we put aside our differences and grew through that experience and luv’d each other anyway. We leaned on the luv that we had for each other and that experience brought us even closer than we had been before.

What I believe we as humans have forgotten is Luv! As cliche as it seems I believe it is luv that will bring us back to the togetherness we felt on September 11th 2001. I’m also believing that we in this country will put aside any difference we have individually and lean on the luv that we have for this country and each other and allow the memory of 9/11 to bring us closer and not divide us. I’m hoping that we will remember the luv and togetherness that we felt 15 years ago today and that we will do right by each other. Rocky would want it that way.

Where Does Your Power Come From?

                                                         Photo credit: http://dronte.deviantart.com/

Where do you get your personal power from? Is it from an external source like your career, the car you drive, the house you live in or the number of educational degrees you have on your wall? Is it from the number of followers you have on social media or the number of “likes” your posts elicit? Do you feel powerful when you delete someone from your friends list on social media outlets? Does it make you feel powerful to cause another person pain or heartache; to possess something that no one else has? To be able to say “I told you so?” Does it make you feel powerful to impede the progress of others? To stand in the way of their success?

You may be surprised at the sources of some people’s personal power. You might be surprised at the source of your own! We all want to feel powerful, to feel significant. But power that comes from external sources is fleeting. True personal power comes from within and is developed when one comes to realize who they are; it does not come from external sources. Understanding that your power source is internal and is based on your Divine nature and not on your personal possessions or any external sources is power in itself. Once you realize your true personal power, nothing is beyond your reach.


“Today I want you to become aware that you already possess all the inner wisdom, strength, and creativity needed to make your dreams come true. This is hard for most of us to realize because the source of this unlimited personal power is buried so deeply beneath the bills, the car pool, the deadlines, the business trip, and the dirty laundry that we have difficulty accessing it in our daily lives. When we can’t access our inner resources, we come to the flawed conclusion that happiness and fulfillment come only from external events. That’s because external events usually bring with them some sort of change. And so, we’ve learned to rely on circumstance outside ourselves for forward or backward momentum as we hurtle through. But we don’t have to do that any longer. We can learn to be the catalysts for our own change.” 

~Sarah Ban Breathnach

Magnificent Monday-Necessary You







Every aspect or facet of your personality,  no matter how weird or strange you may think it is, is a necessary element of the purpose for which you are on the earth. The problem comes in when we look at others and see an aspect of their personality which we admire and then judge against an element of our own personality which we think is inadequate or wish was different. Naturally, we are going to feel bad about ourselves when we do that so the key is to understand that everything about us is part of who we are which is necessary to serve our purpose in the world. 

In luv and Dessert, 

~Leisa Monique

Magnificent Monday-Be Careful How You Treat Luv!





Just a reminder to be kind to those in your life. No matter what the nature of the relationship, appreciate those that luv you and whom you luv; never take luv for granted. And while you’re being careful how you treat others, be reminded to take care of and be kind to one who matters most, yourSELF! You can’t expect others to be kind to you when YOU are not kind to you. Take a moment today to be grateful for YOU and for those in your life that luv you.

To help you remember, I’m sharing this video from my favorite female singer, the lovely Phyllis Hyman. Phyllis took her own life in June of 1995 after battling bipolar disorder for many years. Her story reminds us to not take life and luv for granted.  ‪#‎EMDF‬ ‪#‎MagnificentMonday‬

In Luv and Dessert,
Leisa Monique

Magnificent Monday-fighting Your Crazy

I came across this clip from the most unlikeliest of places-the television show Divorce Court. This is unlikely because it’s a rare day that I watch television and when I do it’s even more rare that I watch court shows. But a friend posted this and it reminded me of some of what we talk about here on EMDF. Naturally, I had to share it with you guys along with my thoughts.

In the clip the judge is encouraging a defendant (a woman) to let go of her anger and fear. Now you know that we have talked about fear quite a bit in the past and I can agree to much of what the judge says to the defendant. She describes a pattern of fear that causes anger that causes “crazy” and walks the defendant through her pattern of pain, fear and anger. Now I don’t know the whole story and I don’t know what preceded the judge giving the woman this advice but I like what she had to say.

My thought is that we have to understand that anger is a secondary emotion. The presenting issue that makes us angry is rarely if ever the actual issue but it’s usually the memory or experience that the presenting issue triggers that is the actual problem. For example, you may be angry that your significant other who forgot to pay the light bill when it was due and when you were a child you experienced the electricity being turned off because a parent didn’t pay the bill on time. The current situation with your significant other may trigger that memory and cause you to be fearful that the electricity may be turned off and in turn cause you to be angry with your significant other.

This is just an example for the sake of illustration but our previous experiences that caused us pain can still  show up in other areas of our lives today. They can cause us to put up walls and close ourselves off to the world because we are afraid that someone will hurt us again. They can cause us to be angry and bitter and hurt the people we luv because we haven’t worked through the pain of any previous experiences that hurt us.

The one place where I differ with the judge is in making a list of what is wrong with us as she encourages the defendant to do. Most of us are very good at stating what we think is “wrong” with us. I once conducted a class on affirmations and as part of the class I gave the ladies a few seconds to write down 10 things they thought were”wrong” with them; they wrote them down with ease. I then gave them the same amount of time to write down 10 things that were great about them. they had a difficult time writing this list and most could only come up with 3 or 4 great things about themselves. This is unfortunate because we are programmed to criticize ourselves and focus on what is “wrong” with us but rarely are we taught to recognize and affirm the things that are “right” with us.

We are often taught that talking about our good characteristics is tantamount to being cocky and arrogant and conceited. But as long as we are focusing on the areas we need to work on we are OK by societies standards. It’s OK to look in the mirror and take responsibility for the areas of our lives that we need to grow in and acknowledge those areas. I encourage that.  It is also OK to look in the mirror and acknowledge and affirm the areas where we rock! I encourage that too!!

In working through any anger or “crazy” issues that you may have make sure to acknowledge that which makes you great while you are acknowledging the things you need to work on. Acknowledge that you are smart, talented, creative, beautiful, compassionate, impartial or whatever great qualities that make you YOU! Be sure to be gentle and luving with yourself and give yourself the space to be human. We all have fears but we don’t have to let those fears take over our lives and turn into crazy.

As always, your thoughts are appreciated! Also, be sure to download Daily Desserts to Inspire Self-Love for more inspiring ways to affirm your greatness!!

In luv and dessert,

Leisa Monique (function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){i[‘GoogleAnalyticsObject’]=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){ (i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o), m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m) })(window,document,’script’,’//www.google-analytics.com/analytics.js’,’ga’); ga(‘create’, ‘UA-57888448-1’, ‘auto’); ga(‘send’, ‘pageview’);

Happy Valentines Day-Daily Desserts to Inspire Self-Love

Happy Valentines Day to you all! I hope that while you’re giving luv to those closest to you, that you are giving luv to the most important person in your life: YOU! 
As my Valentines Day gift to you I want to share with you something that I have been working on for quite some time. It’s called “Daily Desserts to Inspire Self-Love” and it is my labor of luv to all of you. I hope you enjoy it. Click HERE to download.  Leave a comment in the comment section below and let me know what you think. 
In Luv and Dessert, 
Leisa Monique

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