THIS ONE IS FOR THE FELLA’S-I SEE YOU!

Most of my work that I do is aimed at helping women and girls understand their self-worth and to know who they are. It is my life’s purpose and mission to do so as I believe a woman who is sure of her worth is a confident woman and a woman who is confident knows that  there is nothing she can’t do!

But I also spend quite a bit of my time speaking to men and assuring them of their value as a man. A man is a most magnificent creature; they are strong physically and emotionally and in my eyes are one of the Divine’s most beautiful creations!

But the fella’s have been getting a bad rap lately! Being accused of all sorts of things from the usual being a “dog” to absentee parenting to being emotionally unavailable to abandonment. Yeah, the men are catching hell (some of it rightfully so) and it’s mostly coming from the women in their lives!

I could go on and on about all of the things that men are being accused of not doing but I think that there is enough of that going on already! There are plenty of movies in the theaters and books on the shelves and girl’s nights out conversations on the subject so I don’t feel the need to continue the conversation here.

Who I want to focus on in this post are the men out there that are doing the right thing! The ones who get up and go to work everyday to a job (often more than one) that they don’t alway’s enjoy to support their families! The one’s who are taking care of their children! Sidebar- I recently went through a custody battle with my ex husband and there were times it got ugly! This man fought me tooth and nail ( who came up with that?) in court for nearly four years trying to get full custody of our four children. He was just not willing to compromise as I had been trying to do for years and in the end he paid the price.

But let me tell you what I admire about him in this situation: that he was willing to fight for his children! He could have easily walked away when we got divorced and walked right out of his children’s lives but he chose to stay and make a difference in the lives of our kids! Even though in my eyes the “fight” wasn’t necessary,  he thought it was and was willing to go the distance for his kids! I always say that it is not divorce that messes up the kids, it’s the loss of a parent through the divorce! My children are blessed in that they still have both their parents in their lives and for that I give their father credit!

If I hear another woman say that there are no good men out there I think I might just scream! I run into great men on a daily basis! Men who are ambitious! Men who are driven! Men who are supportive of the women in their lives and I want those men to know that I SEE YOU!

I see the effort that you put into being a better man! I see the effort that you put into being a better husband and lover! I see the effort that you put into being a good father! I see your effort and I acknowledge that effort! I know that there are in fact some men out there who fit the stereotype of the player, the dog, the game player, but I also know that there are more men out there who are looking for an opportunity to show some woman that they are a good man! They want to have a family! They want to be supportive of the woman in their life! The want to take care of and be active in their children’s lives and are doing just that!

So to those men I tip my hat to you! I know you all are being hit from all sides with the negative but today I offer you encouragement and support! I say hold your head up high and keep doing what you are doing! Keep being the magnificent creature that God created YOU to be! Keep making it happen in the lives of your women and children! keep making it happen in you community! Keep making it happen wherever you go! Because the fact is we need you!

It’s Monday! How will you start your week?!

By now most of you who have followed me for any length of time know that today, Monday, is my favorite day of the week! There’s just something about the beginning of a new week and deciding what that week will look like that is very appealing to me. I started (yes, I said started at 4:00 this morning!!) it with some of my favorite desserts: Prayer, meditation, writing and then I’m going to take a hot bath with scented candles and music! This is indeed a great day!!

Most people dread Monday. I’m guessing that for them it symbolizes everything but happiness. They have to return to work, to school…to that which they dislike. But I beseech you, if that is your disposition on Monday, to change your perspective and begin to see Monday for what it really is: The beginning! Your opportunity to set the tone for the kind of week you will experience.

If you could have your “dream week” what would it look like? Now, I’m not talking about fantasy; being able to run away from your job and sip drinks on the beach all day (although that doesn’t sound bad either) but I’m talking about the kind of week you would like to have with everything that you have to do. Would you get along with our coworkers? Your boss? Would your relationship with your significant other or kids be what you would like it to be? What would your ideal week look like! You do know that what you think about you bring about right?

So, decide that instead of a day that you dread, decide to have a day that you love. A day that brings you “happy.” Its all up to you you know! You may not be able to change the challenges that this day or week will bring you but you can change YOU! You can decide today that no matter what the day brings you, you will see it as an opportunity to evolve! To grow! Because that is what they really are: opportunities disguised as challenges.

So, I encourage you to Eat Your Dessert First: start your day with some music you love, reading, meditation, dancing, making luv…or whatever it is that gets you to “happy” and let the rest of the day take care of itself!