“When I was going through my transition of being famous, I tried to ask God why was I here? Surely, it wasn’t just to win three gold medals. There has to be more to this life than that!
I tear up as I write this. Yet again, I’m at a point of transition in my life and though I’m usually excited about the process of transition and look forward to what’s on the other side, this time I’m just tired. I feel like I’ve been in a perpetual transition for the past 5 years of my life. I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted and frankly I just want this shit to be over.
I know that for those of you who follow this blog regularly this may be a bit unusual to hear from me. But if you remember I always said that I would be transparent and share my own experiences with you so when I’m “going through” you get to read about it. I actually have been a bit absent from the blog for a while and for that I apologize. When I get to this point I tend to withdraw so that I can “hear” and get direction.
You guys know that I am a firm believe that life gives us exactly what we need at the moment we need it in order for us to grow and evolve from where we are to where we will be. I have always embraced that and trusted in the process. There is something different for me this time: there is so much frustration that I can hardly focus on the process and what this experience is here to help me do. I’m even a bit angry-at whom I’m not so sure. Ego has set in and I haven’t even engaged in my usual morning “dessert” practices of meditation, exercise, dancing and all the other stuff I usually do.
I have the greatest kids a mother could ask for though. They know me so well and can “feel” when I’m in this place. They tend to gather around me quietly as if to show their luv and support. They give me lots of hugs, cook for me and just offer their love. I appreciate that and the point is that we need support when we are experiencing transition. My close friends also “feel” this place I’m in. They call, send an encouraging text message but most of all they just let me BE.
And that is exactly what I have decided to do: to just BE and allow the beauty of this transition to unfold in front of me. I AM releasing my resistance to it. I AM letting go of the fear of lack and not being able to provide for my family. I AM returning to my center of “knowing” and trusting that all is in Divine order because it is.
What I know for sure is that I AM luv’d and supported. I know that I AM not in this process alone but that the Divine Universe is with me every step of the way. I AM opening myself back up to what this experience has come to show me and I AM embracing it. This was not an easy thing to do as the frustration of being here (again) was almost overwhelming. But I know that all is well even when I feel like it’s not I know that it is.
What does transition look like for you and how do you get through it? Do you have practices in place to support yourself? Whatever you do please remember that you are not your experience. Know that there is something wonder-filled in the process of transition. Embrace it and embrace where you will be on the other side. Oh, and don’t forget (or abandon) your “Dessert” in all of this. It will be what gets you through to the other side!