4 Questions to ask yourself before making your New Year’s Resolutions

I’m sure you have seen them already. Friends’ social media posts about New Year’s resolutions and how 2021 is going to be their best year ever. You probably are thinking about your own resolutions and what you want the new year to look like for you.

If you’re like many of us you have made resolutions in the past that have not been fulfilled. After all, it is believed that 80% of people fail to achieve their new year’s resolutions. There are many articles about why we fail to fulfill new year’s resolutions and I myself have written about this in the past. So, if you want to be a part of the 20% of people who actually fulfill their new year’s resolutions, here are four questions to ask yourself before you make your resolutions for the new year. Being honest with yourself and really thinking about these questions just might get you on the path to fulfilling your resolutions so that you can truly have the best year of your life.

  1. Why have my resolutions failed in the past?

Being honest with yourself and digging deep to find out why previous resolutions went unfilled is one of the best ways to ensure you fulfill future resolutions. There are many reasons we fail to fulfill resolutions and sometimes it’s because we didn’t change the behavior or our thinking. Fulfilling resolutions requires making changes within ourselves. If we take the same thinking and behavior into the new year, we can be sure that whatever we resolve to do will turn out the same way as in the past.

2.  How did I decide on the resolutions I made?

There are many reasons why we make the resolutions that we make. Asking ourselves how we decided to make those resolutions and understanding their source can go a long way in helping us fulfill future resolutions. Ask yourself did you have a healthy sense of self-worth when you made previous resolutions or were you operating from a place of low self-worth? Were your resolutions rooted in fear? For example, if you have experienced financial challenges and you feared not having enough money in the future and you made a resolution to save more money, if you have not dealt with the thinking and behaviors that caused you not to save in the past (maybe you’re an emotional spender or you haven’t set a budget) you are bound to repeat the behaviors that prevented you from saving in the first place and your resolution to save more money will go unfulfilled

3. What did I change about myself to help me fulfill my resolutions?

2020 presented us with many opportunities for personal growth and development and to make changes within ourselves. 2020 challenged us to think about how we treat ourselves and the people around us. It presented us with opportunities to evaluate how we live our lives,

4. What process can I put in place to support myself and keep me on track to fulfill my resolution(s)? 

Having a process or “system” in place to support yourself and help you work through challenges is one of the best ways to ensure your resolutions get fulfilled. I write about it here. Having such a process in place not only helps you work through issues and builds you up, but it can also help you stay motivated and on track to fulfill your goals. Whether it’s a Spiritual practice that consists of meditation, crystals, prayer or it’s something else like daily desserts and positive self-talk, having a practice in place that you rely on when you are feeling doubt and/or fear that threatens to derail your resolutions can help get you back on track.

There you have it. Four questions to ask yourself before you make your new year’s resolutions. Asking these questions of yourself and answering them honestly may be just what you need to make resolutions that you will be able to fulfill. Whatever resolution(s) you decide to make, remember to give yourself some grace and some space and understand that life is going to happen as it always does. Know that this doesn’t have to throw you off track to achieving all that you resolve to achieve. So go ahead, make your resolutions, and look forward to having one of the best years of your life.

In luv and dessert,

Leisa Monique

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When the Teacher is Ready…

We have all heard it said that when the student is ready the teacher shows up. I was in a conversation recently with my BFF Sandra Dee and I was sharing with her all of the opportunities that I have been getting to be a panelist and speaker for various events. There have even been amazing career opportunities that have presented themselves. Its been pretty exciting for me. As we talked about it I recalled a time when I was frustrated because I wasn’t getting these opportunities. I’ve had this brand for over 10 years and have been in this space of inspiration, activism, self-worth, and self-luv for all of them. And though I have served as a keynote speaker and been a panelist countless times, it is only now that the opportunities are pouring in.

“What do you think the difference is,” she asked me, and as I thought about it, I thought about how I felt when presented with these opportunities in the past vs. how I feel now. Suddenly the light bulb turned on and I realized what was different. My confidence! In the past when I was asked to speak I would get extremely nervous. Oh, I would do it and do a great job but the process was almost excruciating. To the point where I would be tempted to pull out of the engagement. And I have done that too. I have canceled events that I had planned, had family emergencies so that I didn’t have to go through with a speaking commitment, or serve as a panelist or be in front of people. I was operating from a place of fear.

I have now reached a point in my life where I have learned to trust myself and the Spirit within me. I trust that I am capable of. I trust that I can execute. I trust that what I have to say is what is needed at the moment. I trust in my purpose. I am confident in the wisdom of my words. I am confident in ME. Getting to this point in my life has been a long and arduous process. It has been a beautiful process though, filled with all kinds of experiences. Some that still incite tears when I think about them and some that brought the badass me that I didn’t realize was there. There were some that brought sadness and despair and there were some that required me to develop my talents, skills, ideas, and strategic thinking. All of them played a role in me becoming the confident woman that I am now.

“Ah”, Sandra Dee said, “when the student is ready the teacher shows up.” But what I heard was “When the TEACHER is ready the students show up!” And that is was resonated with me. Students were showing up to hear what I have to say because their teacher is now ready. And ready she is!!

In Luv and Dessert,

~Leisa Monique

The Holiday Spirit

Recently I was driving and thinking about the fact that folks in my circle
were saying that they were not feeling the Christmas Spirit. I realized that I
wasn’t either. With everything going on around us be it socially, politically
or otherwise, I can see why we are feeling that way.

One thing that I do when I am feeling a certain way is ask myself the
question of why I’m feeling that way and what is the source of the feeling. After asking this
question about not being in the Spirit, I realized that it was because I had
not CREATED the Christmas Spirit within me. I started to reflect on all the
things that were going on in my own life and how I had let them interfere with
my joy. I also realized that I decided at that point that I was going home to
decorate my home and do what I needed to do to create the feeling of Christmas.

While getting together with girlfriends the next day I asked them if they
were in the Christmas Spirit. It wasn’t a surprise when they both replied that
there weren’t. I shared my revelation of not creating the Christmas spirit that
I had had the previous day with them, and we all agreed that the Christmas
Spirit is something that we could create. We had a profound conversation about
how people no longer greet each other with a “Merry Christmas” or a
“Happy Holidays” much anymore Like we experienced when we were growing
up. We reflected on how as children, we remembered our parents greeting
neighbors and people on the street with holiday greetings and well wishes. We
remembered the holiday baking and cooking and the feeling that these acts
brought with them. But we also reflected on some of the traumas that we
associated with this time of the year and how they still affect us. It was a
beautiful conversation on personal responsibility and connections and the power
of creation. We left there agreeing to go about our days greeting people that
we came in contact with and doing our part to crate the Holiday Spirit that we
felt was missing.

I hope that if you are not feeling much like Christmas right now or are not
in the Spirit of the holidays, that you will get yourself to a place where you
can create the feeling and the experience that you desire. As Divine beings we
have the power to create the reality that we want to have. Whether it be the
holiday Spirit or a life that we enjoy, we are powerful beings Divinely gifted
with the power to create our realities. There are many resources out there to
guide you in this process. I f you need help with this please reach out. I am
always here. May you have the happiest of holidays and may you create the life
that you truly desire.

In luv and dessert,

Leisa Monique

 

Magnificent Monday:Celebrating National Dessert (Mon)Day

National Dessert Day happens to fall on my favorite day of the week: Monday. Couple this with the Full Moon in Aries and I’m in my happy place. Here at EMDF we believe that Monday, the start of the week for many, is a great day to set the tone for the rest of your week. It’s a great day to DECIDE that you will have the kind of week/days that make you happy. If you need some inspiration Indulge in one of our Daily Desserts. You’ll be sure to find something that inspires you. have yourself a great Monday!

In luv and dessert,

Leisa Monique,

YOU are God

I saw a post recently that said, “God will make a way.” So many of us have been conditioned to believe that the entity that we call God is something outside of ourselves. That’s the kind of world we live in, where we are taught that we are separate from each other and from Spirit energy. But know that God is not outside of ourselves. God is within. YOU are the energy that we call God here on earth in human form. When you look to God you are looking to yourself. You came to this planet with everything you will ever need to fulfill your purpose, serve others and create the life you desire. Look within. Make a way.

Stand Up For Women

 

“Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.”― Maya Angelou

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Have a Wonder-Filled Day Luving Your SELF First!

Valentines Day 2019
In honor of Valentines Day, I am reposting one of my favorite blog posts that I wrote some years ago. I find that it is as relevant today as it was when I first wrote it. Enjoy. 
“Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
– Rumi, thirteenth-century Sufi poet

“Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be true to yourself. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you.” 
― Steve Maraboli

As we celebrate the day of luv remember to honor, luv and accept your SELF right where you are. SELF is the core of who you are, your essence your Divinity. Accept it, luv it and honor it for doing so you are honoring the Divine in you!

Do something nice for your SELF today: rest, take a hot bath, dance, read a book, listen to soothing music…give your SELF a break from the stress and strain of life and give your SELF something wonder-filled.

I do hope that while you are expressing luv to those in your circle that you will take the time to give luv to your SELF. To guide you into doing do Please download my gift of Luv to you. It is an e-book entitled Daily Desserts to Inspire Self-Luv. I hope that it will indeed inspire you to find luv within you.

In Luv and Dessert,

Leisa Monique

Be A Deliberate Creator!

Be deliberate in your thinking for you create what you think about whether you want it or not. #MagnificentMonday #MondayMotivation. Follow us on Instagram @eatmydessertfirst.

 

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Lenses

We process and view life through the lens of our own experience. Our environment growing up, our values, beliefs, teachings and personal ethics all shape our opinion of the people and events around us.

The problem comes in when we only see life through the lens of our own experience.  We all could benefit from each of us getting outside of ourselves and viewing life and events through the lenses and opinions of others. After all, each of us has something valuable to add to our collective experience.

life's lens

YOUR Journey

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