Thank YOU

When was the last time you told your SELF Thank You? As you’ve thanked everyone for helping you, encouraging you and supporting you, have you thanked your SELF? It is easy to overlook the very person who dreams, who perseveres, who tries time and time again even when they fail. The person who gets up each day and goes about their day no matter how routine or mundane it may seem. The person who provides for themselves and their families. The person who supports and encourages others. The one who is always there for their friends and family. The person who believes in themselves, and in the power of their own dreams.

So often we make it a point to thank other people in our lives. When someone expresses kindness to us, we thank them. When someone gives us a compliment, we thank them. When someone offers their support to us, we thank them. We make sure to thank others. But thanking ourselves is something we may rarely think of doing but should do more often. After all, it is you that takes care of you. It is you that gets up and moves forward even when you don’t feel like it. Without YOU, you wouldn’t be able to do any of the things that you do. So, just as you acknowledge other and give thanks to and for them, do the same for your SELF and tell YOU Thank You.

~Leisa Monique

Advertisements

YOU are God

I saw a post recently that said, “God will make a way.” So many of us have been conditioned to believe that the entity that we call God is something outside of ourselves. That’s the kind of world we live in, where we are taught that we are separate from each other and from Spirit energy. But know that God is not outside of ourselves. God is within. YOU are the energy that we call God here on earth in human form. When you look to God you are looking to yourself. You came to this planet with everything you will ever need to fulfill your purpose, serve others and create the life you desire. Look within. Make a way.

Stand Up For Women

 

“Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.”― Maya Angelou

Untitled design (2)

Have a Wonder-Filled Day Luving Your SELF First!

Valentines Day 2019
In honor of Valentines Day, I am reposting one of my favorite blog posts that I wrote some years ago. I find that it is as relevant today as it was when I first wrote it. Enjoy. 
“Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
– Rumi, thirteenth-century Sufi poet

“Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be true to yourself. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you.” 
― Steve Maraboli

As we celebrate the day of luv remember to honor, luv and accept your SELF right where you are. SELF is the core of who you are, your essence your Divinity. Accept it, luv it and honor it for doing so you are honoring the Divine in you!

Do something nice for your SELF today: rest, take a hot bath, dance, read a book, listen to soothing music…give your SELF a break from the stress and strain of life and give your SELF something wonder-filled.

I do hope that while you are expressing luv to those in your circle that you will take the time to give luv to your SELF. To guide you into doing do Please download my gift of Luv to you. It is an e-book entitled Daily Desserts to Inspire Self-Luv. I hope that it will indeed inspire you to find luv within you.

In Luv and Dessert,

Leisa Monique

Self-Worth In The Age of Sexual Assault

resized blog image

Many of you who have followed my work know that I have been an advocate for women and girls my entire career. It’s why I write this blog. What you may not know is my work in domestic violence and sexual assault prevention. It is something I have done for many years in addition to my political career. I serve on boards and commissions whose work it is to not only bring awareness to the issue of DV and Sexual assault, but to advocate for policy and programs to serve victims.

Four years ago, R & B singer R. Kelly was due to appear in concert here in Las Vegas. You all may now be familiar with the years old accusations against him which include sexual assault of underage girls thanks to the documentary Surviving R. Kelly produced by Dream Hampton which recently aired on Lifetime network. Though the world was shocked to learn of his treatment of women and girls, some of us have been familiar with these accusations for many years.

In an effort to shut down the concert, I launched a coalition of concerned women who worked diligently to bring awareness to the singers alleged atrocities committed against women and girls and to shut down the concert. Though we were not successful in stopping the concert we were successful in getting media coverage and bringing attention to his alleged crimes. I’m proud of the work that the coalition did to stop the concert and I’m proud of the work we continue to do on behalf of women and girls.

Considering the documentary Surviving R. Kelly and the work I helped spearhead to stop his concert four years ago, I received calls from people asking what I had to say about the documentary and was I pleased that it aired. Rather than speaking on the documentary I have chosen to direct my energy to what is most important to me and that is doing the work to ensure that young women and girls (and boys too) understand their value and worth. I want to make sure that we are providing spaces and tools for young people to develop a healthy sense of self-worth and value. If you have ever experienced domestic violence or sexual assault you may feel like a part of you has been stripped away. You may feel like you have no value. I want to tell you that though you may have been victimized you don’t have to take on a victim mentality. Your experience does not have to become your story or your identity. Your experience of assault is not who you are. It is part of your experience, but it is not the totality of you. Your power is internal and comes from your Divinity. It can never be stripped from you nor can it be diminished.

If you need to, please get professional help to guide you through your healing process. Get whatever support you need to get healthy. But whatever you do, always know that no matter what your experiences are in life, they don’t define who you are.

In luv and dessert,

Leisa Monique

Did you choose you or did someone else tell you who to be?

How did you come to be who you are? Did you choose the person you are or did someone else-society, religion, your parents-tell you who to be?

Recently I served as a panelist as part of a discussion on black woman, stereotypes and the #MeToo movement. The discussion centered on the stereotypes associated with black women and how those stereotypes helped perpetuate sexual violence against black women and how those stories are or are not being told in this time of #MeToo.

During the discussion the topic of black womanhood came up, specifically, what it means to be a black woman. My response was that as women, we came into our womanhood in a patriarchal society and that our womanhood has been defined by others. Men. A society that is male centered and male dominated has decided what the standards for being a woman are and women themselves have perpetuated this standard. Men have decided the standards for what a woman should be, how she should dress, how she should speak, how she should behave, wear her hair, who she should date and most importantly, her sexuality.  And all of it is based on the needs, wants and desires of males.

Question for you: Did you as a woman have a say in setting the standard for who you are as a woman or did you fall in line with what was dictated to you? Do you sit quietly when you really have the desire to roar because you have been told that a lady is not loud? Do you stand by when you seen an injustice being committed against others when the warrior spirit in you really wants to fight against that injustice? Do you forgo the short miniskirt that set your heart ablaze when you first saw it or do you choose the more “appropriate” longer skirt because society says that only whores wear dresses that short?

My point is to inspire you to think about how you became who you are. If you are not  being the woman you really want to be then I encourage you to courageously explore who you really are, what it is that you really like and what womanhood means for you  and start on the path to becoming that woman. Know that you are supported every step of the way by the Divine. After all, it is the Divine who created you.

Magnificent Monday-fighting Your Crazy

I came across this clip from the most unlikeliest of places-the television show Divorce Court. This is unlikely because it’s a rare day that I watch television and when I do it’s even more rare that I watch court shows. But a friend posted this and it reminded me of some of what we talk about here on EMDF. Naturally, I had to share it with you guys along with my thoughts.

In the clip the judge is encouraging a defendant (a woman) to let go of her anger and fear. Now you know that we have talked about fear quite a bit in the past and I can agree to much of what the judge says to the defendant. She describes a pattern of fear that causes anger that causes “crazy” and walks the defendant through her pattern of pain, fear and anger. Now I don’t know the whole story and I don’t know what preceded the judge giving the woman this advice but I like what she had to say.

My thought is that we have to understand that anger is a secondary emotion. The presenting issue that makes us angry is rarely if ever the actual issue but it’s usually the memory or experience that the presenting issue triggers that is the actual problem. For example, you may be angry that your significant other who forgot to pay the light bill when it was due and when you were a child you experienced the electricity being turned off because a parent didn’t pay the bill on time. The current situation with your significant other may trigger that memory and cause you to be fearful that the electricity may be turned off and in turn cause you to be angry with your significant other.

This is just an example for the sake of illustration but our previous experiences that caused us pain can still  show up in other areas of our lives today. They can cause us to put up walls and close ourselves off to the world because we are afraid that someone will hurt us again. They can cause us to be angry and bitter and hurt the people we luv because we haven’t worked through the pain of any previous experiences that hurt us.

The one place where I differ with the judge is in making a list of what is wrong with us as she encourages the defendant to do. Most of us are very good at stating what we think is “wrong” with us. I once conducted a class on affirmations and as part of the class I gave the ladies a few seconds to write down 10 things they thought were”wrong” with them; they wrote them down with ease. I then gave them the same amount of time to write down 10 things that were great about them. they had a difficult time writing this list and most could only come up with 3 or 4 great things about themselves. This is unfortunate because we are programmed to criticize ourselves and focus on what is “wrong” with us but rarely are we taught to recognize and affirm the things that are “right” with us.

We are often taught that talking about our good characteristics is tantamount to being cocky and arrogant and conceited. But as long as we are focusing on the areas we need to work on we are OK by societies standards. It’s OK to look in the mirror and take responsibility for the areas of our lives that we need to grow in and acknowledge those areas. I encourage that.  It is also OK to look in the mirror and acknowledge and affirm the areas where we rock! I encourage that too!!

In working through any anger or “crazy” issues that you may have make sure to acknowledge that which makes you great while you are acknowledging the things you need to work on. Acknowledge that you are smart, talented, creative, beautiful, compassionate, impartial or whatever great qualities that make you YOU! Be sure to be gentle and luving with yourself and give yourself the space to be human. We all have fears but we don’t have to let those fears take over our lives and turn into crazy.

As always, your thoughts are appreciated! Also, be sure to download Daily Desserts to Inspire Self-Love for more inspiring ways to affirm your greatness!!

In luv and dessert,

Leisa Monique (function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){i[‘GoogleAnalyticsObject’]=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){ (i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o), m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m) })(window,document,’script’,’//www.google-analytics.com/analytics.js’,’ga’); ga(‘create’, ‘UA-57888448-1’, ‘auto’); ga(‘send’, ‘pageview’);