Be A Deliberate Creator!

Be deliberate in your thinking for you create what you think about whether you want it or not. #MagnificentMonday #MondayMotivation. Follow us on Instagram @eatmydessertfirst.


Deliberate creator post

Magnificent Monday-Necessary You

Every aspect or facet of your personality,  no matter how weird or strange you may think it is, is a necessary element of the purpose for which you are on the earth. The problem comes in when we look at others and see an aspect of their personality which we admire and then judge against an element of our own personality which we think is inadequate or wish was different. Naturally, we are going to feel bad about ourselves when we do that so the key is to understand that everything about us is part of who we are which is necessary to serve our purpose in the world. 

In luv and Dessert, 

~Leisa Monique

Magnificent Monday-Be Careful How You Treat Luv!

Just a reminder to be kind to those in your life. No matter what the nature of the relationship, appreciate those that luv you and whom you luv; never take luv for granted. And while you’re being careful how you treat others, be reminded to take care of and be kind to one who matters most, yourSELF! You can’t expect others to be kind to you when YOU are not kind to you. Take a moment today to be grateful for YOU and for those in your life that luv you.

To help you remember, I’m sharing this video from my favorite female singer, the lovely Phyllis Hyman. Phyllis took her own life in June of 1995 after battling bipolar disorder for many years. Her story reminds us to not take life and luv for granted.  ‪#‎EMDF‬ ‪#‎MagnificentMonday‬

In Luv and Dessert,
Leisa Monique

Magnificent Monday-fighting Your Crazy

I came across this clip from the most unlikeliest of places-the television show Divorce Court. This is unlikely because it’s a rare day that I watch television and when I do it’s even more rare that I watch court shows. But a friend posted this and it reminded me of some of what we talk about here on EMDF. Naturally, I had to share it with you guys along with my thoughts.

In the clip the judge is encouraging a defendant (a woman) to let go of her anger and fear. Now you know that we have talked about fear quite a bit in the past and I can agree to much of what the judge says to the defendant. She describes a pattern of fear that causes anger that causes “crazy” and walks the defendant through her pattern of pain, fear and anger. Now I don’t know the whole story and I don’t know what preceded the judge giving the woman this advice but I like what she had to say.

My thought is that we have to understand that anger is a secondary emotion. The presenting issue that makes us angry is rarely if ever the actual issue but it’s usually the memory or experience that the presenting issue triggers that is the actual problem. For example, you may be angry that your significant other who forgot to pay the light bill when it was due and when you were a child you experienced the electricity being turned off because a parent didn’t pay the bill on time. The current situation with your significant other may trigger that memory and cause you to be fearful that the electricity may be turned off and in turn cause you to be angry with your significant other.

This is just an example for the sake of illustration but our previous experiences that caused us pain can still  show up in other areas of our lives today. They can cause us to put up walls and close ourselves off to the world because we are afraid that someone will hurt us again. They can cause us to be angry and bitter and hurt the people we luv because we haven’t worked through the pain of any previous experiences that hurt us.

The one place where I differ with the judge is in making a list of what is wrong with us as she encourages the defendant to do. Most of us are very good at stating what we think is “wrong” with us. I once conducted a class on affirmations and as part of the class I gave the ladies a few seconds to write down 10 things they thought were”wrong” with them; they wrote them down with ease. I then gave them the same amount of time to write down 10 things that were great about them. they had a difficult time writing this list and most could only come up with 3 or 4 great things about themselves. This is unfortunate because we are programmed to criticize ourselves and focus on what is “wrong” with us but rarely are we taught to recognize and affirm the things that are “right” with us.

We are often taught that talking about our good characteristics is tantamount to being cocky and arrogant and conceited. But as long as we are focusing on the areas we need to work on we are OK by societies standards. It’s OK to look in the mirror and take responsibility for the areas of our lives that we need to grow in and acknowledge those areas. I encourage that.  It is also OK to look in the mirror and acknowledge and affirm the areas where we rock! I encourage that too!!

In working through any anger or “crazy” issues that you may have make sure to acknowledge that which makes you great while you are acknowledging the things you need to work on. Acknowledge that you are smart, talented, creative, beautiful, compassionate, impartial or whatever great qualities that make you YOU! Be sure to be gentle and luving with yourself and give yourself the space to be human. We all have fears but we don’t have to let those fears take over our lives and turn into crazy.

As always, your thoughts are appreciated! Also, be sure to download Daily Desserts to Inspire Self-Love for more inspiring ways to affirm your greatness!!

In luv and dessert,

Leisa Monique

Magnificent Monday-Recalibrate Your Life

Already this morning I’ve seen the “Manic Monday” and other posts about how horrible Monday is for some. This always baffles me because I look at Monday as the beginning and a perfect opportunity to decide what kind of week you are going to have. I look at is as a perfect time to calibrate your week.

I know it’s the first day after the weekend but that is the perfect time to move past your previous week and start over on your goals and desires. Maybe you didn’t get done all that you wanted to get done in the previous week; Monday is a perfect day to decide to finish it. Maybe you experienced some challenges in the previous week or over the weekend; Monday is a perfect day to move past those challenges. It’s a perfect day to decide that you are going to have a productive week. It’s a perfect day to decide that you are not going to have the same kind of day or week that those around are you are having. It’s a perfect day to decide that YOU are going to live the life that you want to live.

 If you have traditionally dreaded Monday and looked at it as the worst day of your life, I implore you to recalibrate and change your outlook on Monday. It’s the beginning, a clean slate and you and only you get to decide how your week is going to go. Regardless of how those around you are behaving, choose to be happy today. Choose to be in peace today. Choose to be an example of what Monday can really be.

In luv and dessert,

Leisa Monique

Photo source:

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Magnificent Monday-Celebrate Your Own History

As we celebrate Women’s History Month I hope that you will take a moment to celebrate your own history! Yes, YOUR history. Often we look at others that have made an impact on the world and think that we could never have such an impact. People like Oprah Winfrey, Marianne Williamson, Rosa Parks, Sojourner Truth, Hillary Clinton have all made their mark on the world and have created a legacy that will be talked about long after they have left this earth.

But what I want you to know is that YOU have left and impact as well and are creating YOUR legacy. Perhaps you don’t think so but there is someone somewhere that you have encouraged, uplifted or been an example to whether you know it or not. If you smiled at someone or held a door open, gave someone a ride when they were walking or just showed kindness to someone then you have played a part in making this world a better place. Someone will remember you and the kindness you showed them. That is your history.

You don’t have to be the first woman in space or the youngest or the first female CEO to make history. You simply have to decided to live your purpose and that will impact all you come in contact with.

I encourage you to take some time today and reflect on your accomplishments and the impact that you have had on those around you. Understand that you are making history whether you know it or not. What will people say about you when you are no longer in their presence? That is a question I hope you will ask yourself and then set an intention to leave a lasting impression and make your mark on the world.

Magnificent Monday-For One Day…

“For a day, just for one day, talk about that which disturbs no one and bring some peace into your
Beautiful eyes.” 

― حافظThe Subject Tonight Is Love: 60 Wild and Sweet Poems of Hafiz

“Every person needs to take one day away.  A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future.  Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence.  Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.  Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.” 
― Maya AngelouWouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey Now

Magnificent Monday to you all. I know by now that those of you who follow this blog and my writings have embraced Monday as a day to set the tone for the kind of week that you would like to have. I know that YOU look to Monday as a new beginning; a day to start all over and create a great week for yourselves.

But in light of everything that has happened in this country in the past week I can imagine how difficult it is for some of us to create happiness and peace for and within ourselves when it seems that the world has gone crazy. But creating happiness and peace for and within ourselves is precisely what this world needs each of us to do right now. For it is only when each of us is at peace with ourselves that we can be at peace with the world.

Feeling guilty for experiencing happiness and peace at a time like this is not what’s going to bring peace to our hurting world. It’s only when each of us cultivates peace, joy and happiness within ourselves that we can begin to spread peace throughout the world. So start where you are and take this most Magnificent Monday to BE and spread peace, luv and joy…and dessert!

Leisa Monique

Magnificent Monday-Live Your Life…If You Really Want To!

Magnificent Monday to you! I trust that you are taking this time to set the tone for the rest of your week. When I first heard this song I was immediately taken in by the lyrics for they convey the message of Eat My Dessert First perfectly! I encourage you to take a moment and really listen to the words of this song. Take them in and let them settle into your consciousness. Then, go live your life…first!

Leisa Monique

Your own path

“If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That’s why it’s your path.” 
― Joseph Campbell

Magnificent Monday-You’re not a lady…If you’re powerful!

This morning as I was scrolling through my email inbox I came across an email with the subject line Is Power “unladylike?” Wow, that jolted me awake and I  had to sit up for that one! With a quickness I clicked on the link to read the article to see what the author was talking about. It was quite interesting to hear that some women still misunderstand the meaning and use of power and being powerful.

Sadly I had to admit that in my line of work I have heard and seen this all to often. Unfortunately, this is common among women as most women view power in the context of force and as having some type of control over others.  When women think of being powerful I can almost guarantee you that the image that comes to their mind is that of a man. 

The dictionary offers a few definitions of powerful but the one that I most relate to is the one that defines the word powerful as “influential, convincing and effective.” Would you describe yourself as influential? Convincing? or effective? Let me throw in my own definition of “persuasive.” The word power itself is defined as “the ability to do or act. being capable of doing or accomplishing something.” 

Because of this image and misunderstanding of power, women often shrink away from the label of being powerful and sometimes wholeheartedly reject it in favor of being labeled as compassionate, considerate and thoughtful etc. But I submit to you that all of these labels are components of being powerful!

For some reason, some women view power as not only being unladylike but also as being masculine. It is just not something that women are supposed to be and women that do embrace their power are seen as out of the ordinary and sometimes given the label of “B****!” Ouch!

Close your eyes and think of a woman that you consider to be powerful. What image comes to mind? Is it that of a woman in a “power suit” in the position of CEO? Is it that of a politician? Is it that of a newscaster or TV personality?  Does the image of a female police officer come to mind? Or do you get an image of a wife and mother who works from home. Do you get an image of a woman that is a teacher and influencing our children? What about a woman that cleans up after others for a living? A hair stylist? Blogger? Photographer? Does YOUR face come to mind when you think of powerful women?!  May I suggest that it should!

M point is that it is time for women to redefine who and what we consider powerful! Power is not being able to control the behavior or livelihood of others but being able to influence, inspire and uplift others. Being powerful is being able to get others to see and embrace the greatness in themselves! It’s being able to embrace YOUR gifts and talents and shouting it from the roof tops! it’s being able to accept and own your abilities and not being afraid to display them to the world! Being powerful is being gentle, kind, considerate, thoughtful but at the same time not shrinking away from the spotlight of your life.

So many of us look at other women who are in positions that we consider powerful and secretly wish we could do the same but won’t admit it openly. We say things like “oh, I could never do that” or “I wouldn’t want her job for all the tea in China” or ” I admire you for what you do but I could never do it!” it’s OK, to “stay in your lane” and do what you do but when you stay there out of fear then there is a problem.

Decide today to embrace YOUR power and be POWERFUL! Whether that’s getting our finances in order or acknowledging your inner strength  There are so many resources available to help you through this process including this blog so no more shrinking away from your power. Be who you were created to be: an extension of the Divine, powerful and perfect in your very own way!!