4 Questions to ask yourself before making your New Year’s Resolutions

I’m sure you have seen them already. Friends’ social media posts about New Year’s resolutions and how 2021 is going to be their best year ever. You probably are thinking about your own resolutions and what you want the new year to look like for you.

If you’re like many of us you have made resolutions in the past that have not been fulfilled. After all, it is believed that 80% of people fail to achieve their new year’s resolutions. There are many articles about why we fail to fulfill new year’s resolutions and I myself have written about this in the past. So, if you want to be a part of the 20% of people who actually fulfill their new year’s resolutions, here are four questions to ask yourself before you make your resolutions for the new year. Being honest with yourself and really thinking about these questions just might get you on the path to fulfilling your resolutions so that you can truly have the best year of your life.

  1. Why have my resolutions failed in the past?

Being honest with yourself and digging deep to find out why previous resolutions went unfilled is one of the best ways to ensure you fulfill future resolutions. There are many reasons we fail to fulfill resolutions and sometimes it’s because we didn’t change the behavior or our thinking. Fulfilling resolutions requires making changes within ourselves. If we take the same thinking and behavior into the new year, we can be sure that whatever we resolve to do will turn out the same way as in the past.

2.  How did I decide on the resolutions I made?

There are many reasons why we make the resolutions that we make. Asking ourselves how we decided to make those resolutions and understanding their source can go a long way in helping us fulfill future resolutions. Ask yourself did you have a healthy sense of self-worth when you made previous resolutions or were you operating from a place of low self-worth? Were your resolutions rooted in fear? For example, if you have experienced financial challenges and you feared not having enough money in the future and you made a resolution to save more money, if you have not dealt with the thinking and behaviors that caused you not to save in the past (maybe you’re an emotional spender or you haven’t set a budget) you are bound to repeat the behaviors that prevented you from saving in the first place and your resolution to save more money will go unfulfilled

3. What did I change about myself to help me fulfill my resolutions?

2020 presented us with many opportunities for personal growth and development and to make changes within ourselves. 2020 challenged us to think about how we treat ourselves and the people around us. It presented us with opportunities to evaluate how we live our lives,

4. What process can I put in place to support myself and keep me on track to fulfill my resolution(s)? 

Having a process or “system” in place to support yourself and help you work through challenges is one of the best ways to ensure your resolutions get fulfilled. I write about it here. Having such a process in place not only helps you work through issues and builds you up, but it can also help you stay motivated and on track to fulfill your goals. Whether it’s a Spiritual practice that consists of meditation, crystals, prayer or it’s something else like daily desserts and positive self-talk, having a practice in place that you rely on when you are feeling doubt and/or fear that threatens to derail your resolutions can help get you back on track.

There you have it. Four questions to ask yourself before you make your new year’s resolutions. Asking these questions of yourself and answering them honestly may be just what you need to make resolutions that you will be able to fulfill. Whatever resolution(s) you decide to make, remember to give yourself some grace and some space and understand that life is going to happen as it always does. Know that this doesn’t have to throw you off track to achieving all that you resolve to achieve. So go ahead, make your resolutions, and look forward to having one of the best years of your life.

In luv and dessert,

Leisa Monique

Dolce Far Niente

I’m so excited y’all! I have been working on a project that is very close to my heart for the past few weeks and I’m thrilled to say that it is in the final stages of completion. It’s a compilation of inspirational “desserts” to inspire you in the new year and I’m publishing it as an ebook.  I have never done anything like this before but I wanted to give you something to inspire you to greatness in this new year and it is what I came up with. The post for today is an excerpt from the ebook. I hope you enjoy it. I’ll publish more details on the ebook and how you can get your copy in the very near future. In the meantime, please enjoy this post. 


Sometimes… “Nothing” is much better than “Something.”
Arafath Shanas
Recently, I watched the movie “Eat, Pray, Love” again. In the movie one of the characters points out that the Italians have a saying “Dolce Far Niente” which means “The Sweetness of Doing Nothing.” How did I miss this all the other times I watched this movie? Taking time to sit in silence, watch the sunrise, the sunset, and still my mind and spirit have always been important to me. This is how I prefer to spend my days. Many people in my circle often ask me “what do you DO all day?” You see, I have the pleasure of working from home and doing exactly what it is that I want to do which is writing, reading, teaching, training, consulting and going to school full time. I chose my life and I chose to give up whatever would hinder me from having this life. I have let go of the expectations that the world has for me; the expectation that says I should always be striving to do more, have more, be more. I’m perfectly OK with taking time out of my day to do absolutely nothing without guilt or shame. I work hard for my clients. I work hard in school and I work hard to take care of my children. I also make sure that I take time to do one of my favorite things: nothing.
I encourage you to take time out of your day to do nothing. Take time to sit and enjoy the beauty that surrounds you and the beauty that is you. It may feel uncomfortable at first because we are programmed to always be doing something lest we be considered lazy. This way of thinking is what has us in the state of poor physical and mental health that we are in. Let go of that thinking and allow yourself the pleasure of just being and doing nothing.
In luv and dessert, 
Leisa Monique