If you’re anything like most human beings, you are easily able to give to others. Whether it be your time, helping a friend, giving money, a thoughtful gift, cooking them a meal, or even a word of encouragement, you give of yourself freely. But allowing yourself to receive these same gifts from others may not be so easy.
Many times we feel a sense of guilt at the thought of “taking” what others are offering to us. Why is it so easy for us to give but so hart to receive? The answer, I believe, is value.
When we give to others, we feel good and get a sense of our own value. but when receiving what others are offering to us, we may feel like we are taking something that we don’t deserve. But you deserve all of the goodness that others are offering to you.
Today I encourage you to allow yourself to receive as easily and as freely as you give. Remind yourself that you are deserving and worthy to receive all of the goodness that is offered to you. Please understand that just as good as you feel giving to others, they feel as good giving to you and when you freely receive what they are offering, you allow them to feel good about giving.
So this week as you give, remember to receive all that is being offered to you.
How are you starting off our week? I hope you will start it off by being good to yourself and luv’ing yourself. I hope you will tell yourself good things about yourself and remind yourself that you are all that you are created to be. With all that we have going on around us, it may be easy to lose sight of that. Don’t.
No matter where you are at in your life right now, no matter what you are experiencing, no matter the “challenges,” please know that everything you are experiencing is here for your personal growth and evolution. Nothing has come to hurt you, it has come to help you evolve, develop, and grow. Embrace the space that you are in and always know that you are right where you are supposed to be.
If you have followed this blog for any length of time you know that here at #EMDF we embrace Monday and use the day to create a magnificent day and week. if you are new to the EMDF family I hope you, too will embrace Monday and use it to set the tone for the rest of your week.
I am super excited to kick off #MondayMantra, a weekly affirmation that you can use to get your Monday started. I will post a new Mantra every Monday in an effort to get more people to embrace the beauty of Monday rather than dread it.
I’m sure you have seen them already. Friends’ social media posts about New Year’s resolutions and how 2021 is going to be their best year ever. You probably are thinking about your own resolutions and what you want the new year to look like for you.
If you’re like many of us you have made resolutions in the past that have not been fulfilled. After all, it is believed that 80% of people fail to achieve their new year’s resolutions. There are many articles about why we fail to fulfill new year’s resolutions and I myself have written about this in the past. So, if you want to be a part of the 20% of people who actually fulfill their new year’s resolutions, here are four questions to ask yourself before you make your resolutions for the new year. Being honest with yourself and really thinking about these questions just might get you on the path to fulfilling your resolutions so that you can truly have the best year of your life.
Why have my resolutions failed in the past?
Being honest with yourself and digging deep to find out why previous resolutions went unfilled is one of the best ways to ensure you fulfill future resolutions. There are many reasons we fail to fulfill resolutions and sometimes it’s because we didn’t change the behavior or our thinking. Fulfilling resolutions requires making changes within ourselves. If we take the same thinking and behavior into the new year, we can be sure that whatever we resolve to do will turn out the same way as in the past.
2. How did I decide on the resolutions I made?
There are many reasons why we make the resolutions that we make. Asking ourselves how we decided to make those resolutions and understanding their source can go a long way in helping us fulfill future resolutions. Ask yourself did you have a healthy sense of self-worth when you made previous resolutions or were you operating from a place of low self-worth? Were your resolutions rooted in fear? For example, if you have experienced financial challenges and you feared not having enough money in the future and you made a resolution to save more money, if you have not dealt with the thinking and behaviors that caused you not to save in the past (maybe you’re an emotional spender or you haven’t set a budget) you are bound to repeat the behaviors that prevented you from saving in the first place and your resolution to save more money will go unfulfilled
3. What did I change about myself to help me fulfill my resolutions?
2020 presented us with many opportunities for personal growth and development and to make changes within ourselves. 2020 challenged us to think about how we treat ourselves and the people around us. It presented us with opportunities to evaluate how we live our lives,
4. What process can I put in place to support myself and keep me on track to fulfill my resolution(s)?
Having a process or “system” in place to support yourself and help you work through challenges is one of the best ways to ensure your resolutions get fulfilled. I write about it here. Having such a process in place not only helps you work through issues and builds you up, but it can also help you stay motivated and on track to fulfill your goals. Whether it’s a Spiritual practice that consists of meditation, crystals, prayer or it’s something else like daily desserts and positive self-talk, having a practice in place that you rely on when you are feeling doubt and/or fear that threatens to derail your resolutions can help get you back on track.
There you have it. Four questions to ask yourself before you make your new year’s resolutions. Asking these questions of yourself and answering them honestly may be just what you need to make resolutions that you will be able to fulfill. Whatever resolution(s) you decide to make, remember to give yourself some grace and some space and understand that life is going to happen as it always does. Know that this doesn’t have to throw you off track to achieving all that you resolve to achieve. So go ahead, make your resolutions, and look forward to having one of the best years of your life.
We have all heard it said that when the student is ready the teacher shows up. I was in a conversation recently with my BFF Sandra Dee and I was sharing with her all of the opportunities that I have been getting to be a panelist and speaker for various events. There have even been amazing career opportunities that have presented themselves. Its been pretty exciting for me. As we talked about it I recalled a time when I was frustrated because I wasn’t getting these opportunities. I’ve had this brand for over 10 years and have been in this space of inspiration, activism, self-worth, and self-luv for all of them. And though I have served as a keynote speaker and been a panelist countless times, it is only now that the opportunities are pouring in.
“What do you think the difference is,” she asked me, and as I thought about it, I thought about how I felt when presented with these opportunities in the past vs. how I feel now. Suddenly the light bulb turned on and I realized what was different. My confidence! In the past when I was asked to speak I would get extremely nervous. Oh, I would do it and do a great job but the process was almost excruciating. To the point where I would be tempted to pull out of the engagement. And I have done that too. I have canceled events that I had planned, had family emergencies so that I didn’t have to go through with a speaking commitment, or serve as a panelist or be in front of people. I was operating from a place of fear.
I have now reached a point in my life where I have learned to trust myself and the Spirit within me. I trust that I am capable of. I trust that I can execute. I trust that what I have to say is what is needed at the moment. I trust in my purpose. I am confident in the wisdom of my words. I am confident in ME. Getting to this point in my life has been a long and arduous process. It has been a beautiful process though, filled with all kinds of experiences. Some that still incite tears when I think about them and some that brought the badass me that I didn’t realize was there. There were some that brought sadness and despair and there were some that required me to develop my talents, skills, ideas, and strategic thinking. All of them played a role in me becoming the confident woman that I am now.
“Ah”, Sandra Dee said, “when the student is ready the teacher shows up.” But what I heard was “When the TEACHER is ready the students show up!” And that is was resonated with me. Students were showing up to hear what I have to say because their teacher is now ready. And ready she is!!
Many of us have referred to 2020 as one of the worst years of our lifetime. So much has happened including a pandemic (Coronavirus) that has affected over 6 million people here in America and over 25 million worldwide. 183,000 people have died here in American and nearly 1 million people worldwide have lost their lives to this deadly disease. George Floyd was murdered on television in front of our eyes by a police officer. Breonna Taylor was shot and killed while sleeping in her own bed by police who were looking for a man already in their custody. We have seen the deaths of freedom fighter and Congressman John Lewis and just a couple days ago actor Chadwick Boseman of Black Panther and many other movies died of colon cancer at only 43 years of age. Yes, many challenges have presented themselves to us in 2020.
In addition to collective challenges, many of us have been presented with challenges on an individual level.For me, I believe that challenges are actually opportunities. Because of this I believe 2020 will be one of the best years of our lives Both collectively and personally.
Here’s why I say that. 2020 is a four year. 2+0+2+0=4. In numerology the number 4 represents foundation, structure and stability. It is believed to be a perfect number, the number of completion, a number of wholeness. There are four seasons, four quarters in a year, There are four parts to a whole. Four directions. Four tires on a car. Four sides to a square. A four count in dance and music completes a whole. Once you get to four you start over. And here is the point I am trying to make.
2020 is a year of completion. The foundation that this nation and other nations of the world were built on are crumbling. They are falling right before our eyes. Social systems, political systems, governments, economic systems and the like are falling apart. People are rising up all around the world and saying that they are no longer willing to live under racist systems of inequality. People are coming together all over the world and uniting to demand change and bring down these systems.
But more importantly the foundation that we have built our own lives and stories on are also crumbling. Every belief that we have about ourselves is being challenged. The stories that we have believed about who we are, the stories that others have told us about ourselves are falling down! We are all being presented with an opportunity to create a new story and belief about who we are and what we are capable of. If you’ve ever believed that you are not lovable, smart, talented, capable, powerful, important, Divine, or anything else that has made you feel less-than, you are being presented with an opportunity to do away with those beliefs and create a new belief about yourself. You are being afforded the opportunity to create new systems to support yourself in all that you do.
2020 is offering us an opportunity to cleanse from all that has weighed us down and to heal from past pain and trauma. It is presenting an opportunity to work through and let go. It is presenting an opportunity to begin again but not before we face every negative thing that we have ever been told and believed about ourselves.
So, though it seems challenging and to be the worst year of your life, I present to you that 2020 is in fact the best year of your life. I encourage you to change your belief about 2020 and begin to see it for what it is, a time of opportunity for growth and personal and collective evolution. I encourage you to take advantage of this energy and rebuild a structure and foundation that will support you in fulfilling your life’s purpose. I hope you will use this energy to create new beliefs about yourself and those that you influence. Take time to luv and support yourself through this process. If you need help or support in this process please feel free to reach out to me or to someone else but please get the support that you need. This is an immense time of opportunity and I hope you will take advantage of it.
“Communities and countries and ultimately the world are only as strong as the health of their women.” ~Michelle Obama
May 10-16, 2020
It’s National Women’s Health Week and as we navigate the current times, we are mindful of the importance of our physical and mental health and the health of all of the women in our lives.
This is a great time to check-in with yourself to see how you are doing physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, and Spiritually and think about making any changes that you feel are necessary to be in optimal health in all areas of your life.
We are living in challenging times but we can minimize the stress of daily life as we know it by engaging in activities that bring us joy and happiness and offer us an opportunity for peace. The Office on Women’s Health offers a wealth of resources on women’s and girl’s health including a fact sheet and this handy “Find Your Health” tool to help you assess where you are with your health. Our blog Eat My Dessert First offers plenty of inspiring posts to guide you on your path to healthy self-worth and self-esteem including the Ebook “Daily Desserts to Inspire Self-Love“. There are also resources on financial education and budgeting to help you get your money right.
No matter where you are on your journey to optimal health know that you are supported. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself space to explore and grow. Nurture your body, mind, and Spirit and above all else give yourself all the luv and support you need to get through these times. Enjoy your journey!
Eat My Dessert First 